July 13

This whole life thing sort of, completely throws me off sometimes.

Most of the time, I feel like I am not really where I am supposed to be. I know I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing, most of the time. Does it seem like I know who I am?? Like I have identified my dreams, or like I am focused and aiming for something, besides marrying a doctor?

I live for love,
and nothing makes me happier then being loved,
or feeling wanted.

I have this giant desire to be different, but my desires are as ordinary as they come.

I am horrible at processing, and most of the time I think after I make the decision, and then I change my mind. I love feeling excited, challenged, and respected.

There is this feeling I get: when something good;
really good,
is coming.
It is the feeling I get when I am about to board a plane, or when I am marching in a peace rally. It's the feeling that comes when I get a tiny glimpse of the vastness of our world... when I realize how small my life is. I realize how small my life is, then I understand that I complete the universe. The person sitting next to me on the highway completes the universe, and every one of my friends completes this universe.

And, once Mother Theresa wrote, "What you can do, we cannot do, and what we can do, you cannot do, but together we can do something beautiful."

I hurt people a lot, I could spend my whole life apologizing. I get angry about silly things pretty fast.

But, I am here. I am on

this soil,

at this moment,

with these people,

and I can most definitely make the best out of that,
and enjoy this,

and do something beautiful.